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I don't believe there is a manual that ensures your child evolves into a healthy, well-rounded and happy human being, this site goes a long way to helping out

13 November 2007

The perils of parenthood

by Jacqueline Alexander

I was lucky. During my weeks after my son's birth, he didn't cry. He made noises and whinged but never howled. Unfortunately, this meant that I was lured into a false sense of security so when he first exercised his lungs to deafening effect, I did the one thing you're not meant to; I panicked. Changing, feeding, cuddling and cooing were all tried and all failed so I picked him up, wrapped him up, bundled him into the car and drove straight to the hospital. Just as I began to explain my predicament to the A&E receptionist, my son let out the biggest burp you had ever heard from anyone or anything weighing under 10lbs. My son immediately fell asleep and I immediately fell into a deep abyss of embarrassment. I slunk home to cringe at my ineptitude as a mother.

Although I didn't know it at the time, this was to be the first of many, many times when I would not know quite what to do with the unexpected twists and turns involved with motherhood. Of course, I now know that it goes with the territory and, luckily, as time goes on you learn to trust your instincts so it gets easier. Then it gets harder again, then easier, then harder still. Eventually, you learn to accept that no sooner do you get to grips with one aspect of bring up children then another surprise is waiting around the corner to remind you of your shortcomings.

Today, if you are experiencing a similar predicament, I can save you a trip to the hospital and, hopefully, prevent a little stress and strain on your nervous system as you navigate your way through parenthood.

In fact, even if you are not a parent, raisingkids.co.uk, is worth a visit. Take a look. Treat it as if you were considering taking a degree on the subject of 'Raising Kids'. Look at the syllabus - it may take you a month or so to go through the modules but it's worthwhile, after all, you don't want to take on too much do you?

This site is more than a guide. It's more than a reference site. It's even more than an encyclopaedia. Raisingkids.co.uk is oracle. It's the oracle of parenthood.

At first glance, this site looks similar to many others designed to support parents. The menu is divided into age groups including pregnancy, 0-1 years, 0-4 years, and so on. It's only when you click on each of these menus that you discover the level of detail available to you. 0-1 years is divided into a further 19 age-based subsections covering every aspect of your child's development during each particular stage. And that's not all. You are offered advice and explanations on feeding, sleeping, health, finance, siblings, travelling, childcare, nappies and nursery rhymes.

Within the pregnancy section, not a stone is left unturned. Taking you through your pre-natal process week by week, the site tells you what to expect. It even tells you what to do when the unexpected happens. The men are not left out either with many aspects of impending fatherhood covered from parental rights to a complete survival guide.

It was only when I spotted the 13+ age range that I began to doubt the credibility of the site. I couldn't help thinking, "Oh no, they have taken the easy way out. They take you through the bit that's a breeze and leave you to sort out the terrifying teenage traumas for yourself." Fortunately, this wasn't the case. Possibly every scenario you can imagine is there in all its questionable glory and the site doesn't seem to shy away from any subject; drugs, sex, depression, exams, self-harming, rebellion, curfews, anorexia, untidiness, money management, piercing and drinking. Having navigated my way through to being a mum of an 18 year old, I must say that, if I was reading this as a mum of a seven year old, it would probably frighten the life out of me. However, if you are of a more of a Boy Scout then you can get prepared by taking a look. More importantly, if you find yourself facing any of the above dilemmas then raisingkids.co.uk is a great place to start looking for advice.

The brainchild of parenting expert, Dr Pat Spungin, this site has really taken on board the breadth and depth of skills required to raise our children. It is a continually growing resource and has a forum to enable parents to swap notes and give each other advice. Dr Spungin is not only well qualified educationally but has three grown up children of her own so the advice is not just theoretical but practical and realistic.

Amongst all the advice is the ever-popular celebrity news; Heidi Klum and Seal are declaring that their children come second whilst Myleene Klass's is announced as the latest 'Yummy Mummy' and Kerry Katona, Gwen Stefani, Halle Berry and Paula Radcliffe all feature in the latest updates. Commentary on current parenting-related topics in the news makes for interesting reading. The thorny subject of Ritalin and ADHD is covered alongside debate over whether 'yummy mummies' are a positive influence on those struggling to regain their waistline. And, of course, whether you agree or disagree, you can exchange opinion with others on the aforementioned forum.

The bad news is that this site is an oracle not a miracle. Nor is it a magic wand or a crystal ball. As parents, you never know what joys and challenges are going to come your way and, in my experience, that's a good thing. But I was also taught that 'forewarned is forearmed' and raisingkids.co.uk is a particularly good resource for achieving just that.

Although I don't believe there is a manual that ensures your child evolves into a healthy, well-rounded and happy human being, this site goes a long way to helping out. The rest is down to instinct and a little luck.

My son is now a young man so the discovery of this site is too late for me; but, if I am in time for you, take a look. You are about to have the ride of your life and this site may just be the friend you need to take along with you.

Raisingkids.co.uk

Jacqueline Alexander presents Web Watch every Tuesday at 5.45pm on BBC Radio Berkshire on 104.1FM, 104.4FM, 95.4FM, 94.6FM and DAB Digital Radio. To listen in, just visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire.

What is Web Watch?

Web Watch is broadcast on BBC Radio Berkshire, published in the Henley and South Oxon Standard and published online right here at web-watch.info.

As a cross-media project, Web Watch is designed to help you find the best sites here on the Internet.

You can catch Web Watch on air every Tuesday at 5.45pm when Jacqueline Alexander sits down with Phil Kennedy during the Drivetime show on BBC Radio Berkshire to chew the virtual fat.