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If your approach to Christmas parties is more bah-humbug than bar-restaurant, then there's a useful little site that's just perfect for you...

11 December 2007

Santa Silliness

by Jacqueline Alexander

I give up. I have trawled through the internet looking for something that would serve as a valid excuse for not serving up a host of Santa sites. It's impossible. Just like every shop, every street and (almost) every home, the virtual world has gone Noel-mad.

I did get a little excited when I discovered the latest Wi-Fi technology now offers viable options for listening to Internet radio. Then I realised that, if I were to extol the virtues of such a creation at his time of year, you might assume I wanted one for Christmas or, worse, you would think I was them as a Christmas present for someone else. I have now decided to cover this development in the New Year. A decision that has the added bonus of giving me time to determine the difference between microwaves, radiowaves, short waves, long waves and making waves.

Having failed in my original mission to avoid the seasonal silliness, I have come up with a host of sites that may prove useful as you find yourself in the company of reindeer, relatives and red noses (both Rudolph's and your own).

If, on the other hand, you don't want to find yourself in the company of anyone and your approach to Christmas parties is more bah-humbug than bar-restaurant, there's a useful little site that is dedicated to giving you the perfect excuse for not attending yet another festive frolic.

After being presented with a rather engaging snowman, you are asked a series of questions to determine the nature of the event you wish to be excused from as well as your relationship with the host and whether you want to be polite, slightly dismissive, very dismissive or downright rude. The result is the instant delivery of a scripted letter designed to fit your requirement. Your excuse can be as believable as you want it to be - you are asked whether you want the reason for your absence to be credible or Pinocchio-esque. The latter choice offers the funniest results but the laughter may come at a price when you realise you are a social outcast before the New Year celebrations begin.

It seems obligatory for children to write to Father Christmas nowadays. I don't remember this being necessary in days gone by. Then, only a glass of milk, a couple of mince pies and a weak attempt at 'being good' were required to ensure the arrival of Tiny Tears or the latest Tonka Truck. These days, you have failed in your duty as a parent if you have not yet ensured that the shorter members of the family have written to Santa. Worry not. There is a site that will save the day for you.

Apparently, Santa has gone digital. He has invested in the latest technology and now communicates via email. Just take the kids along to Emailsanta.com where they can send a message direct to the Grotto. If Mr Claus is out and about, don't worry, his elves have set up the email facility on his mobile phone to guarantee the message will be received. Santa promises that he will not only pay close attention to your little one's missive, he will send a reply. If you are a really cruel parent, you can leave it until the final hours of Christmas Eve, Santa will still reply to your children but I am not sure you will be deemed 'good' enough to receive your heart's desire the next morning. You may have to make do with left-over milk and mince pies.

From the sweet to the surreal, Elfyourself.com gives you the rather questionable opportunity to transform your loved ones into a dancing elves. You simply upload pictures of your family and friends and turn them into dancing elves. Who you chose to put through this transformation is up to you - it can be at your expense or the expense of others - the decision really depends on whether you are looking to avenge or amuse! The result is not pretty. It's not elegant. It's not even co-ordinated. But it is funny.

Now we have catered for our inner child, we can turn our attention to the real thing. This one is strictly for kids. If you can't afford a trip to the North Pole or you are averse to catching a plane (or a cold), you can now make the journey without relinquishing any of your home comforts. Just pop along to Northpole.com where you will be invited to have a look around Santa's grotto, read stories, play games, take a peak at Mrs Santa's festive feast and join the Elf Pal Academy.

You can also witness a variation on the 'wedding dad' as Father Christmas dons his dancing shoes and gets down to some serious disco moves. It's not right but, there again, neither are dancing elves or renegade reindeer but they're all available on the Internet at the moment. It seems that Christmas really is silly season.

Amongst all the fun designed to keep the kids busy during the Christmas holidays, is the rather odd appearance of an elf-like weather forecaster. I am not sure I would vouch for his accuracy though - he said it was very sunny in the North Pole and his 'factor 15' was at the ready. It doesn't sound very Christmassy to me but it's probably a result of global warming so you'd better hurry, this site will probably have melted by next year.

http://holiday.enlighten.com/
http://www.elfyourself.com/
http://www.emailsanta.com/
http://www.northpole.com/

Jacqueline Alexander presents Web Watch every Tuesday at 5.45pm on BBC Radio Berkshire on 104.1FM, 104.4FM, 95.4FM, 94.6FM and DAB Digital Radio. To listen in, just visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire.

What is Web Watch?

Web Watch is broadcast on BBC Radio Berkshire, published in the Henley and South Oxon Standard and published online right here at web-watch.info.

As a cross-media project, Web Watch is designed to help you find the best sites here on the Internet.

You can catch Web Watch on air every Tuesday at 5.45pm when Jacqueline Alexander sits down with Phil Kennedy during the Drivetime show on BBC Radio Berkshire to chew the virtual fat.